two wrongs can make a right

A healthy, intimate relationship spells health for our mind and our body.   Having someone to share those amazing moments with.  To support us when life kicks us in the teeth, reduces our stress and makes us less likely to ever experience depression.

In the past few weeks, I've been lucky enough to attend the weddings of two couples who mean the world to me.  Emotional stuff.  To see them take those vows of lifelong love, in spite of all the things life may throw at them.

And reflecting on these happy memories reminded me of these quotes on finding "the one" which I thought I'd share:

"If we do not know how to take care of ourselves and to love ourselves, we cannot take care of the people we love. Loving oneself is the foundation for loving another person"    Thich Nhat Hanh

And I love this stunning quote on the subject by Galway Kinnell which I found in a post by Dr Ben Kim:

“We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”

Only when we unconditionally accept ourselves and feel whole, even when alone, are we truly ready to love another.  Because love means meeting their needs instead of looking for them to heal us instead.

Only then will we attract the right wrong person for us in that moment.

So although nobody's perfect, then a relationship can be ...

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